I have to remember this is impressive to people because any time I announce it, people are like wow, cool. Like it's harder to do that than it is to get published traditionally. I think it just means, oh cool it's easier for me to buy now, but I don't know if that's entirely it. I told someone today I'd left the company I was with and to look me up on Amazon, it was just strange people seemed happier I guess since having to force them to pay more through some fucking crooked-ass publisher was so unreasonable, and I fucking agree. I stopped short of apologising for the atrocious presentation and the fact it's hard to find on a fucking bookshelf or under a pile of books because too skinny and no spine matter, but I was in a bad enough mood I didn't even really care they brought it up. Then as I was leaving, someone else asked what I was doing with my afternoon and jokingly said, "Go write a book." I'm like, "Haha, (huff) I don't have time."
I still totally regret people knowing about this, even if I did direct someone to the others, they're out there and I guess I'm kind of curious what they would think. Maybe one of them would at least scare them as to what was really in my fucked up head and they'd never speak to me again. I actually would like that. Sometimes I wonder what I could do to my physical appearance to make me so ghastly and unapproachable that people never spoke to me again.
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